The beast is awake. The Milky Way is open, and I’m walking on splashes of quarks. No, I’m flying, my wings are finally free. And yet, she’s my problem. Oh boy, it’s all because of her. She clings to me, holding on underneath for so long. Her throat, sweet and long, she’s greedy, possessive, and I love it. I want to crawl over every inch of her body. I groan aloud…
I’m electrified. I grab her hair, lifting her against the wall. I need to breathe, but I can’t pull away. What is it about her? She’s honeyed I can’t pull out. She’s a fountain, overflowing. I think she’s whispering something, but I’m moving too fast to catch it. My nervous system is overloaded, and no, it’s her moans – rhythmic, in sync with mine, near my neck.
This is dangerous! She’s magical, powerful beyond reason. “Girl, have mercy!” Her screams echo in my mind. I can’t stop, damn it! This could kill me.
She’s a giver, drawing me into her depths. But now she wants more, and I feel the pressure rising. If I don’t finish now, I’m gonna burst. It feels like an endgame, as if I’m soaring through another galaxy. Oh gosh, her voice calls for something deeper, yearning, testing my limits. Close isn’t close enough. I’m losing control. It’s all heat and urgency. It’s perfectly balmy. She’s, Oh my God! She’s shaking. My gasp is ascending… I’m melting into her…
Eddie was elated! For him, sex had always been a form of releasing his erotic energy. He had shared moments with many women, but Paige; Paige was different. She lingered in his mind, leaving an imprint he couldn’t shake.
Eddie came to realize new facets of Paige’s character, falling in love with her free spirit, her fierce independence, and her quiet discretion. She was like a flower revealing fresh petals each day, yet always maintaining a familiar and comforting essence. Each day with her was a discovery.
As time passed, Eddie found himself growing fiercely protective of Paige. he didn’t want any other man get near to her. She became his obsession, his desire, his one constant thought. But Paige, for all her charm and beauty, didn’t feel the same vigor. She wasn’t committed to him, always with a foot ready to step away. Yet, Eddie was determined, Paige was the one. No matter how she felt, he believed he could change her heart. Her honesty about simply enjoying their time together didn’t deter him; it only fueled his determination.
He began to call what they had a “relationship.” Each time Paige hinted at leaving, Eddie would plead for her to stay. He was convinced that what they shared, especially in their physical connection, was something extraordinary. It was magnetic, an undeniable force drawing him closer to her every time. He prayed fervently: “Please, God, I love Paige. I want her to be mine. If this is meant to be, let her feel as I do. But if not, please stop this. Still, I can’t help these feelings, they’re too strong.” And as days went by, his emotions only deepened.
They continued to meet, entwining their bodies, though Paige always seemed to keep her distance. Eddie was the one pulling her closer, trying to fill the space between them with his love and affection. He believed that one day, she would see him for who he was – her partner, her forever. But just as he felt her heart softening, she would slip away again. His love for her never wavered. He remained steadfast, learning new ways to please her, writing heartfelt poems, showering her with thoughtful gifts, and always forgiving her when she faltered. He brought her to his family and close friends, each gesture a step toward binding them closer together.
Paige noticed. She admired his devotion, the way he poured all of himself into her. She appreciated everything Eddie did for her but quietly wished he could just be her best friend, rather than her boyfriend. Despite the admiration and empathy she felt for him, her heart never grew into love and serious commitment. Yes, she wasn’t cheating on him or anything like that but she neither envisioned herself spending the rest of her life with Eddie as her man. She knew from the start that something inside her wouldn’t allow her to fully commit, no matter how wonderful Eddie was. He was the kind of man she could rely on in any situation, but love… it never blossomed as he hoped.
After each sexual intercourse, Eddie would try to have conversations about where they stood, eager to define their bond. He wanted to talk about their future, to know where they were headed. But Paige would avoid these talks, instead turning on the music and pulling Eddie into a dance. And Eddie, unable to say no to her, would always take her hand and sway with her, losing himself in the moment, despite the unanswered questions in his heart.
Eddie had poured every ounce of his hope, his belief in love, into Paige. He gave her all he had, leaving nothing for himself. There was no turning back for him; Paige had become his entire world.
One evening, as they sat quietly together, Eddie broke the silence.
“How do you stay so distant?” he asked softly. “After all this time, after everything we’ve shared, you seem untouched.”
Paige hesitated, then smiled gently. “It’s fun, Eddie. It’s good… it’s a release. Don’t think I don’t feel anything. We’ve connected in ways that matter.”
“But it’s not enough, is it?” Eddie asked, his voice trembled with quiet desperation. “It’s never enough for you to commit to us.”
Paige sighed. “I told you not to rush things. I’ll commit when the time is right.”
Eddie gazed into her eyes, his voice soft but steady. “You know, I always tell you how special this relationship is to me. Just bear with me, I want to be clear about something, even though I can see you’d rather change the subject.
I’ve been in other relationships, had intimate encounters, but none of them have ever meant what this – what I have with you means to me. Sometimes it might seem like it’s just lust, but what I feel inside runs so much deeper than what I’m capable of expressing.
To me, I’m sharing my life with you. I honor the person you are in every way because in you, I see something sacred. I know it sounds profound, but you make me feel closer to God, rather than weighed down by guilt or doubt. It’s like I’m meant to love you, respect you, and honor you exactly as I do.
I’m undeniably attracted to you; there’s that raw chemistry between us but I feel like I’m maturing intimately. I want more. I want you to meet me in this space, to understand the depth of what I feel. Maybe then you’ll grasp why I’m so patient, why I’ve shown so much grace. You fulfill me, Paige. With you, I’ve found emotional clarity. I am yours, authentically and wholeheartedly. That’s the choice I’ve made, and I’m proud of it.
But… I can’t shake the fear that I’m just here for your convenience, that you’re using me for your own satisfaction. What’s even scarier is that I’m willing to keep going despite it. So, please Paige, I’ve held on for so long. If you don’t see a future with me, if you don’t feel what I feel, then end this, because I can’t walk away.”
Paige’s mouth fell open in disbelief, “Uhm…”
Eddie continued gently, “You don’t have to respond right now.”
Paige took a deep breath, struggling to find the words. Time passed as she gathered her thoughts, her voice almost a whisper. “I didn’t know you loved me this much. I’m sorry… I think I have to let you go because I don’t feel the same. Maybe… maybe someday I’ll come back, if you’re not with someone else by then. I’m sorry, Eddie. And… thank you!”
