“Allo?…” A pause. “Allo?… Ah-lowh!”
Eva picks up the call, but the moment she hears the voice, she sets the phone down on her bedside table and turns to look out through the tall window of her second-floor apartment. She has had enough of Charles’ ceaseless calls. They’ve been separated for a year now ever since she discovered his secret marriage but he still can’t seem to let her go. When he finally hangs up, she returns to her dressing table, her small sacred place, where she tends lovingly to her fine face and calls Yseult—her longtime best friend.
Morning calls have become a ritual between them, something like a gentle therapy.
“Hi darling! Why are you up this early?”
“Guess who called again. With a different number, I’m really over his obsession.”
“You mean Charles?”
“Yeah. We didn’t talk. I just left the phone on the table until he hung up.”
“Haha! He can’t go anywhere. You’re his opium. But why are you up? It’s Sunday.”
Eva can hear Yseult still in bed—crinkling sheets and yawning.
“I’ve got a meeting with some investors. 8:00 sharp. I’m getting ready.”
“I hope you remember the salsa class. We’ve missed two sessions already. I texted Cindy too. Excited to see you both!”
“Uh! Alright. You know I’m only doing it for you. I’ve realized it’s not really my thing.”
“That’s why we’re all learning—to make it our thing!”
“Ok, so I’ll pass by you?”
“Yes, please.”
“See you then.”
“Yeah… and we’ll talk in detail about that call.”
As they got to Chillax, they realized Cindy wasn’t there yet. The one who was always on time when she had made up her mind about the program.
“I have to make a call before coming in,” Eva said getting out of the car.
Yseult went inside and started dancing with the trainer. 28 minutes later, Cindy entered.
“You’re late!” Yseult whispered, fixing her eyes on Cindy.
“Yeah, I know. Sorry!” Cindy replied.
“But what is Eva doing all this time? She’s been on the phone for half an hour?” Yseult inquired, stepping out to check.
“Oh, Isy, I’m coming,” Eva said quickly, seeing Yseult at the door. “But I told you this isn’t my thing, girl!”
After the dancing session, they went out, as usual, to drink tea.
“Cindy, it’s the first time you’re late,” Yseult said.
“Yeah, I wasn’t feeling like coming, but I didn’t want to break my promise to you guys.”
“Uh! Don’t mention it. I came because of this “now-coach” who can’t let me have a break,” Eva pointed at Yseult.
“But it was your idea initially. You brought us into this,” Yseult said, eyes wide.
“I know…” Eva admitted.
“Right! It somehow helps, I gotta be honest. I came really feeling at one of my lowest moments. I’m just tired. I want to reach a point where life accepts me, welcomes me, and stops throwing me away…” Cindy spoke while looking at the sky, trying to formulate her words from the images in her mind of how she felt, then proceeded, “it’s like life is playing the gravity thing with me. The more I try to reach high to intrude into success and happiness, it bounces me back, I constantly fall back and I am tired of it.”
Her friends looked at her, moved.
“Wow! That’s a beautiful way to put it into words. How stressful life is. You’re really good at expressing your feelings!” Eva added.
Cindy reached home and found Victor, her husband, seated at the dining table, having a beer. It had been 8 days since they had addressed each other with a word. She had seen flirting messages popping up on his phone while paying the electricity bill. She did not bring it up immediately. She confronted with silence handing him his phone, screen still lit, knowing he’d understand what she had seen.
Victor, fear in his eyes, tried to explain that it was nothing but waited for her to raise a question, a question that had tormented him seeing her reaction.
Tonight, she set the table as usual, took a shower, and returned to find Victor had already finished supper. As they prepared to go to bed, the voice inside her head lingered: you promised never to go to bed angry at each other. They made that vow even before marriage. That’s how she realized an unkept commitment haunts you till you honor it. But why did he? How could he even for a second admire another woman?
“Do you still love me?” Victor asked at last.
[Now what do I say? He has given me time to process my anger,] “Love is not in question,” Cindy said, glancing into his eyes to reinforce her point.
“It’s the foundation,” Victor added. “If it’s still there, and I pray it is, then nothing is lost.”
Cindy gave a strained smile, wanting to keep silent, but she knew it wouldn’t help the marriage she was still in.
“The foundation is trust, respect, and…” She hesitated, almost saying love, but stopped herself… “And choice. Choosing one another and committing to each other!”
Her throat tightened at the thought that her husband might have even considered cheating. She had heard that every man cheats but had never considered herself as a wife being cheated on. How does one recover from this? How does the heart mend to what it was before?
“But I didn’t do anything. I swear to you, Cindy!” He called her by her name—the tone he uses only when sincere.
She wanted to ask more questions, but it would make her seem greedy for him. She wanted to give him freedom, but also hold him accountable. Now that they had a child, it was a bond a bit tighter to work for.
So she went ahead. “What did you not do?”
He looked at the ceiling. “I didn’t cheat on you.”
Does he mean he didn’t penetrate? she wondered. But he shared emotional satisfaction through words, like high school kids.
“What did you do?”
“We just texted. From nowhere. For no reason…” Cindy cut him off, trying to express what it meant to her, because the conversation was spinning in circles.
“Look, here’s how I perceive what happened, what I saw on your phone. You were exchanging erotic texts with another woman. To me, that’s emotional cheating because I think you found satisfaction in that, and it was outside what we’ve built.” She went on, explaining how it would affect their child, and warning him that if it continued, it could destroy the family for good.
Yseult, still living with her family, didn’t speak to anyone when she arrived home and went straight to her bedroom. while lying on bed, she received a text message from Gustave, her longtime friend who have joined the army, saying that he had finally managed to speak with his brother after 15 years of dry relationship. She had shared with him her little contagious madness that somehow enlarged his soul and pushed him to go after what he wants. Many people that crosses her path describes her as a well-rooted tree—where people come to her to source the courage of embracing life. However, she has her own struggle. Her faith in God has degenerated since her father committed suicide 8 years ago. Had she kept believing in God, it would mean she understood everything that happens; it would mean she accepts that God can do both bad and good things without explaining Himself. But she finds herself completely devoted to love—love that naturally people possess within. She still has much to give from beneath herself, but nothing she expects from beyond herself.
While driving home, Eva saw on her screen that someone had booked a spa session and a three-day hotel stay for her. She immediately called her colleague Ellen to ask if it was the appointment they’d been talking about for months. Smiling to herself with excitement, she was surprised when Ellen said it wasn’t her. She assumed it must have been a mistake. But once she reached her house, while making tea and scrolling through her phone, it came to her, it was Charles, The man who never truly let her go. She tapped the table, “How did I not figure out it was him?” Yet she also rejoiced that he was no longer her first thought. As she sipped her tea, she allowed herself to remember their moments, not the bad ones this time.
What he had made her body know. How he would pause mid-dinner just to whisper how beautiful she was. How he guided her in the early days of her venture—finding funds, securing papers, helping her step firmly into her dream. She had once felt like the proudest woman in any room, knowing he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. How had all that come to an end? She hit the rock of reality, then softened again letting more memories rise—the journey he took her on to live her feelings and express them fiercely.
“Morning, babe,” Victor murmured.
“Morning, my love,” she responded warmly.
They had both missed peaceful mornings like this. She leaned forward, pulled him closer for a kiss. He sighed. He caressed her curled neck, making her tickle. He turned her to kiss her back then lower down to the buttocks. He had missed her uncontainable screams. What was more pleasing than this? She curled her knees irresistibly. He continued, licking her from behind, her response drew him in—he moaned. She screamed for penetration, pulled his hands to her breast. They found each other again with intensity born from absence.
Later, while Cindy showered, she replayed the morning in her mind: how magical it had been, yet strange. As if the pleasure didn’t fully touch her body—like a sneeze stuck halfway. Unlike the time she was raped as a young girl, when her body recognised every pain—each push scratching the walls of her vagina. And it made her wonder about the brain’s functionality in controlling happiness and hurt. One leaves marks; the other refracts like a sunray.
Few days later at the supermarket, Yseult ran into Tania, her little sister’s friend. They greeted warmly—Tania has become family now. But afterwards Yseult thought of Martha, her sister, with whom she no longer spoke. Martha believed her elder sister wasn’t helping the family enough; she thought Yseult had built her career successfully while the rest of the family struggled since their father’s death. Yseult’s heart and mind reassured her that she had done everything she could and still did except the universe hadn’t opened the door for them yet. “You can’t fulfill someone’s dream when you’re the one holding the spoon for them,” she thought. “It becomes smaller, unsatisfying.” She prayed they would find their own path; only then would they understand her way of giving.
As she left the supermarket, Eva called. She had updates and to her only confidant, she left nothing unsaid.
“Friend, I just met Tania, and now I’m thinking about the last time I talked to Martha… it’s been so long.”
Eva paused, letting her friend speak. “Oh no!… sad, right?”
“I don’t know why I’m failing the one promise I made to my dad that we’d always stay united. It meant everything to him. And my sister sees me as the one at fault.”
“No! You did nothing wrong. And I’m sure, with time, she’ll come to you.”
“… I don’t know,” Yseult whispered.
The following salsa day, they all met again, but since Eva had come with her colleague, she left right after the session. So Yseult and Cindy stayed for their “ritual” catch-up.
“Apart from here, have you laughed today?” Cindy asked.
Yseult burst into laughter instantly. “What? What kind of question is that, Cindy?” She was stupefied, her face flushed, warmth ran through her like hot fluid. She had not thought about the need to smile—to laugh from the belly in a while. “You know what… I haven’t,” she admitted after a moment.
“You should,” Cindy said, sipping her water. “We go through a long day if you think about it, by the number of hours compared to the miles our mind can travel in a second. So we owe our wellbeing a bit of chuckles”
They sat quietly, drinking water.
“If you died today… no, not died, if something happened to you, and you went to another planet where you could watch the life you lived… would you be okay with it? Would you be satisfied with yourself?” Yseult asked.
Cindy smiled. “I often hear that question and it scares me less each time. But you know Ysy, from 2020, during COVID-19, I believe everything changed for everybody. Since then, I’ve lived an awakened life, correction, I became more aware about my being. You remember how fearful I was about my relationships with others, with my family, and career. I didn’t know where I was going. I was a victim of everything that happened to me, even my own choices.”
She crossed her legs then proceeded. “I don’t want to sound unnatural, because these days everybody seem more knowledgeable and opinionated, and it loses truthfulness, at least to me. But if I died today, I wouldn’t be satisfied, really not! But all things considered I would be okay with how I lived. I’m present in what I go through each day, even in the lifeless moments, because I’m no longer a victim. I’m still indecisive, unable to regulate my emotions, jealous; many times I wish I lived your life or Eva’s. What can I say, maybe I’m more firm in my mistakes… and importantly more forgiving!”
“Wow!” Yseult exclaimed.
“Don’t ‘wow’ me,” Cindy chuckled. “What about you?”
“Well, I wouldn’t be okay nor satisfied. For the longest I’ve lived I’ve believed there’s no stop to life, rather phases. And this one, I wouldn’t forgive myself for failing the one promise I made to my beloved papa to keep the family united. My life isn’t only about me, I don’t want it to be. I find joy in what others receive through me, in the service they obtain from me. And seeing that I’ve failed at that… I feel like I’ve failed him. Recently, I met Martha’s best friend—Tania, you know her, and she greeted me with such affection. It reminded me that I no longer have that with my own sister. So if this phase were to end so abruptly, it would feel like I’d been robbed of the very essence that gives meaning to my existence.”
“My girl,” Cindy said gently pulling her in her arms, “extend to yourself the grace you give to others. Earlier, I told you there are times I wish I were you. It’s because of your openness to life. Whatever life throws at you, you always have something to give from within. Let me put it this way: you’re ethereal. Simply that,” Cindy said.
“Thank you, sis,” Yseult replied, glancing down at her phone as it began to ring. It was Eva.
“Hi. I’ve just finished work. Are you still at Chillax?”
“Yes, but we’re about to leave.”
“Could you meet me at Ubuki Hotel? I wasn’t able to catch up earlier, and I’d like to make it up to you guys.”
Yseult turned to Cindy, seeking her approval with her eyes. Cindy shook her head softly, “no, sweetheart. I have a book to read to my mini-me,” she said with a gentle smile.
Yseult returned to the call, “I’m afraid I’ll be coming alone. Cindy has a reading session with her daughter.”
“Alright,” Eva replied warmly, “I’ll see you then.”
Arriving at Ubuki Hotel, Yseult spotted Eva seated at the far left corner of the balcony. The wind was strong yet she sat there calmly sipping green tea—her favorite, also to keep her in shape.
“Isn’t this cold getting to you?” Yseult asked. “Why don’t we go inside?”
Eva shook her head. “Honey, I care less. Listen, I think I’m finally making it.” She responded pulling her chair closer, her voice trembling with joy. “We just won another grant and I think I’ll be able to expand the venture to the region. Isy… I’m over the moon.”
“Oh my God,” Yseult exclaimed, pulling her into a quick hug. “I’m so happy for you! That’s a milestone to celebrate.”
“I know,” Eva said, “I can’t believe it either. I’m finally in my reaping season.”
They smiled, ate, and talked for hours. And as Yseult made her way home later that night, she reflected on the rollercoaster of their late 20s—the falls, doubt, and the becoming. It only makes life feel alive! She promised herself to hold on to it, for the lower one falls the greater the depth of joy they can hold when the right time finally comes.
