When we met in 2001, she was a banker, and I was a journalist. At the time, I had just done an interview with the Prime Minister about some cabinet resolutions concerning education. Education has always been an important subject to me, so Caroline happened to have admired the show; then she texted me. She texted me late at night, but I read the message the following day in the afternoon. It was beautifully written, every word thoughtfully chosen. She praised my work, complimented my intellect, and in her words, I could sense an intelligence that captivated me. You know how, through just text, you can glimpse someone’s brilliance? The way they structure their sentences, concisely and politely. That was Caroline. So I responded her, and that’s how the conversation began.
The next day I called her, and I remember hearing the most beatific calm voice ever, with an open mind full of wisdom. Man, I was absolutely floored. That voice still gives me goosebumps to this day. She was excited to speak to me, still full of praise and admiration, but it was her calm, soothing voice and challenging perspectives that captivated me the most.
The second time we spoke, I asked if we could meet. I needed to see the face behind the voice. Regrettably, I was late. Late! Who does that? As I walked in, there she was sitting in the corner, absorbed in her phone. I said hey! She looked up and smiled, and that was it. In that moment, I knew. I wasn’t going to let anybody take her away from me. She had this beauty that doesn’t stop coming out, she was beautiful. She had this presence, this quiet charisma that commanded attention [chuckling].
***
I must’ve watched his interview with the Prime Minister a hundred times. He was humorous, asking all the right questions, and I was like wow! What a bright mind! So I sent a message, just to say thank you for the amazing conversation he’d had. And boy, I never in my wildest dreams thought he’d reply. And then he did. I guess the odds were in my favor that day.
I’m usually quite confident. Nothing shakes me easily, but after exchanging a couple of messages, Justin called. And I froze, didn’t pick up the phone. He called again; this time I picked up but couldn’t speak. I listened to his voice, thinking, “nah! This must be a mistake, he called accidentally.” He hung up. It was when he called the following day that a few words came out. That’s how it all began. He asked to meet, sort of a date [facial grimace]. You know what he did? He called off two dates, and it made me frustrated. I was like if he really wants this to work, we must see each other. I warned him if he messes up the next rendezvous I’ll be out. The third time he came but late. That’s how eager I wanted to meet him, and that’s how I started practicing patience because normally, I don’t tolerate tardiness.
***
There was this other guy who seemed to be in the middle. He’d take her attention from me; they knew each other before I met her, and I could tell she had feelings for him, but the guy didn’t have a clue maybe or wasn’t feeling the same way. But anytime he called, I saw a change in her eyes, and it would kill me. They were the same age, probably shared dreams and vision, but I wanted her more. I prayed for her, I prayed for us. I found something special in her. Something I’ve never felt before and didn’t want to lose at any cost. I’d be driving, thinking about her and my leg would shake. Crazy, huh! But that’s how much she meant to me
The first time we made love, her sweet voice whispering in my ear that she was mine, that she had chosen me to be her home… It was like being lifted out of this world. I’m a free person, expressive. I can’t lie to you, but she must not know that I told you this; she’s very discreet [hand gestures]. Man, she’s my reward from heaven!
By then, I lived a simple life. I rented a small house in a small town, and Caroline would bring presents when she came around, and I would be astounded by her thoughtfulness and presence and love and anything she’d do thinking about me meant the world to me. It was like I was desperate for love without knowing it [big laughter as he narrates].
***
Not only did I admire him for his cleverness, but I also liked him. I liked how he’d make me laugh, how he showed up for me whenever I needed him. He’d cheer me on. Nevertheless, I had doubts, yeah! I had doubts of letting him into my life. How could a grounded person be with a wildly ambitious man living loudly in an environment that we were in? Well, I know negative and positive attract, but it seemed like a huge risk to take, to say the least a mistake. So I made the relationship unstable, coming and going as many times as I would feel a need to. And he let me. I thought he’d hold it against me, but he never did.
***
Although we loved each other, she hasn’t been easy on me; she had her whims like any other girl. But my love for her is one thing I was sure of. I had certainty that she was meant for me.
***
One day, during one of our late calls, Justin said something that stuck with me. I’m fond of beautiful words. He said: “I know I am not the only one who sees how amazing you are. You are beautiful, smart, and kind, but most of all you are peaceful. I’ve been through a lot on this course of life, I’ve met countless people, but being with you feels magical to me. It’s like loving you is one thing I’m made for. God knows how much I long for you, how much I pray that you be mine. In the Bible, the book of Psalm 90:15 says: “Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.” Caroline, You are my joy; after all the suffering I’ve endured, God has rewarded me with you, please don’t take this magic away from me.
***
I remember introducing Caroline to my family, my mum, and my cousin brothers fell in love with her [chuckling]. It’s one thing to see her but when you talk to her; you realize you’ve found a golden pearl, I swear. And she does a lot more to me than that. When we go outside to make ourselves useful and earn a living, especially me, I love my job but working under a sensitive government is risky. She’ll probably mention how draining it is to our family. So coming back home at the end of the day and getting to have her by my side is something I never get used to. She somehow rearranges the small particles in me that were dislocated.
***
Justin exaggerates a lot of things he says about me, always hyping me and making me a superhuman that has ever been alive [smiles and looks down]. But I’ll admit, it’s nice. He doesn’t know how lively he makes our home. I think I don’t thank him enough for that. The best thing he ever did was deciding to be my companion on this journey of life, something I wouldn’t have dared to ask him to do. And we are in between a love song that someday might end, but we’re making the most of it while we’re still around.
